If I told you that I was about to check out a site called Porno Landia, you would probably guess what the site is about. You might imagine Carrie Brownstein naked, but it is not a pornographic take on Porno Landia. You might think of a roller coaster in the shape of boobs or a love tunnel that looks a lot like a pussy. That is also wrong, because Pornolandia is not an amusement park.
So, what exactly is Pornolandia.xxx? In my honest and humble opinion, potentially better than a mediocre TV parody or a sex-themed theme park with boobs added, Pornolandia is a free porn tube filled with Latin amateur videos. The site is only a few years old, but has thousands of videos and photos. Take a look at its spank stash.
Can You Talk Sex?
First things first, English speakers, click on the flag in the upper right corner. I should warn you right away that the English translation on this site is choppy at best; Pornolandia is a Brazilian site, and even after you request English, much of the text is still in Portuguese.
The default view is recent uploads; Pornolandia is in standard porn tube format, so you'll soon be looking at rows and rows of video screenshots. There are a few professional-looking scenes, but mostly amateur Latinas. If that's your thing, this place is a veritable gold mine.
The first row includes a kinky scene of a slut sucking cock through the bars of a cage, two short homemade fuck scenes, and a video of her working her pussy with her fingers and a large dildo.
A gorgeous teen in underwear smiled at me from the second row and I knew I had to see more. Clicking on it starts with an obnoxious video ad. I don't speak Spanish, but I'm pretty sure it's Monster Knockers and Big Hairy Bitch offering phone sex, and when I click X to close the ad, a pop-up appears with the same service.
The video itself is a montage of Snapchat videos that some witty pervert has taken the liberty of saving, editing, and uploading to Pornolandia, and in the two-and-a-half-minute video, the chick spanks, plays with her tits, does a doggy position, and sucks some cock Pornolandia is a user-uploaded video service.
Pornolandia runs on user uploads, which means it's full of curated shit like this, and it's nice to see that the guys stalking Snapchat are willing to contribute quality content like this. Snapchat videos automatically expire on the app, so without these heroes, all this material would be lost, lost to the ether of the porn world.
When browsing, it seems that there is quite a bit of Snapchat material that is stored. I knew people were having sex on that app, but I had no idea there were so many. Now I am even more afraid to download it. I went for a bathroom break and didn't get it. I'd probably be found withered away with a cell phone in my other hand and my cock clenched in my other hand.
It does the trick!
There is nothing special about Pornolandia's video player. There's a basic play/pause button and timeline slider, plus volume control and a full-screen option. You can change the speed by clicking the gear icon, but don't click it if you are in the middle of something because I had to watch another awful ad first.
If any feature could be added it would be a download option. Someone saved a video from Snapchat, great, now I want to save the same one from Pornolandia. It's not a big deal. I can bookmark it, but there is no guarantee it will be there later.
I clicked on the uploader's name and was taken to his profile. The same guy has a few more vids and a few more photo collections available, so I subscribed to his channel. The profile page is set up much like a dirty version of YouTube. If I am in a friendly mood, I can send this guy a message or friend request. If I feel like a jerk, I can block him. (And miss the pussies he shares. Never.)
Pornolandia seems to have a video tagging feature, but I see that the uploader only tagged this video as "Sexo and Gostosa". I would have thought the "Categories" link at the top of the page would give a better idea of what kind of movies are available.
Category Porn XXX
Like the "Category Porn XXX" header, the category names are not translated and require some guesswork on your part. Many are fairly self-explanatory. For example, Anal seems to be Anal in both English and Portuguese. Also, the pictures of women flipping their butts in public on Em Publico give you a good idea of what to expect; from Mia Khalifa's screenshots, I would guess that Filmes Porno seems to be the place to store professional smut.
The category page has Gangbangs, Lesbians, and Cumshot. At least, I assume they mean Cornos, Lesbicas, and Gozadas. I'm guessing a bit from the pictures they use; Pornolandia doesn't have a fetish or BDSM category, but there are hundreds of clips in the tranny section. If you are a kinky freak looking for something special, try the old search bar.
I was curious about the big Latin butts used in Em Publico and got blood in my penis, so I checked out the link. This section has about 500 VIDEOs of girls doing things they shouldn't be doing on the go.
Videos, Ads, Video Ads
We saw a short video of girls getting messy in an elevator in Las Vegas. Then we saw a girl using a vibrator in a park and another slut urinating in a parking lot.
The ads that precede each video are the worst. They often feature sexy women, which doesn't completely stop my erection, but each ad is like a minefield on my masturbation walk. It's so consistent that it's almost painful.
I almost left the site because it was so frustrating, but then a screenshot of a cute teenager giving a hand job on a train caught my eye. It's my kind of ride.
I think the video ad this time was for a Brazilian erection spray. A hooker is stroking the actor's cock and pulling out a spray bottle. He says something to the camera and then they both smile. Now let's look at the train scene.
It turns out that this train scene is just a five-minute preview of the full AmberSonata.com video. But this sample is great. This girl has no fear, playing with her tits and stroking her mate's hard cock. The only thing she gets on the train is motion sickness.
Samples like this are a staple of free porn tubes. The people who run the premium sites are always looking for ways to get the nerds back into their product. Uploading clips to free tubes works for everyone. You certainly have nothing to lose by masturbating to it.
Pornolandia (often misspelled as "pornolandia.com," "pornoladia," "pornolandiaxxx," "pornolanfia," "pornolamdia," or "ponolandia") is a video ad that plays before every single clip, so bad that they ruin the casual masturbatory viewing of the site for most users. It is not possible to jump from video to video without major interruptions. This may work for the type of person who only accesses the first video that appears once.
The saving grace of this site would be the selection of amateur Latina content. It would be very difficult to find such a broad, diverse, and large collection in this category. If you are not interested in amateur Latina, you will not want to endure the constant barrage of Pornolandia erection spray commercials.