VitalyUncensored: The landing page of this next installment says it all pretty clearly, screaming out loud, "Wild pancakes, boobs and asses, no rules," and a guy named Vitaly promises antics in other dimensions, most of which include exposing breasts in public. VitalyUncensored.com seems to have tricks like convincing scumbags to talk to a policewoman's giant boobs, or a man going for a job interview fondling a gorgeous stranger in an elevator.
VitalyUncensored is a fairly new site, but it's already attracting about 8,000 visitors a day.Vitaly Zdorovetsky has been making noise online for years. His YouTube channel has more than 1.65 billion views and more than 10 million subscribers, and his Vlog channel is just as massive. Of course, there are certain "community rules" on these platforms that prevent him from doing obscene things that you or I would like to see, but VitalyUncensored expresses his love of shenanigans in a superb way, without censorship or other nonsense holding him back. That's the way it should be.
Who Vitaly is.
The wall of miniatures below the opening clip gives you an inside look. Big-breasted girls shooting guns, big-breasted girls flashing strangers, big-breasted girls licking each other's asses in public. Some beauties hold signs on street corners offering blowjobs for 25 cents, others moan and groan as they shove dildos into their pussies. A raven-haired kinky beauty licks chocolate pudding off another girl's perfect ass.
The emphasis on boobs, with a backdrop of boots, is a bit of a contrast to Vitaly's typical content. He first rose to fame with his 2012 video, "Zombie Attack Prank in Miami." His next viral video was called "The Russian Killer Prank." This video caused a bit of controversy, as Vitaly was arrested and accused of threatening to detonate a bomb. In the end, it was worth it, as he gained about four million subscribers.
The man is a legendary Internet prankster, and his own Wikipedia has a huge list of his exploits. I won't list them here, but most of them are not of a sexual nature. He was arrested for drunk driving, but you don't really care that much about the internet dude's dick. Neither do I. What's inside.
How much does it cost to look at a boob prick.
This landing page looks like it's trying to turn me on with all these pictures of beautiful women with perfect boobs. There's also a section with a list of media outlets that have mentioned VitalyUncensored - MTV, CNN, ESPN and NBC are mentioned, but I wonder if they went through the archives and counted how many times Vitaly and his YouTube pranks were mentioned. No. The site doesn't run for very long at all.
The site doesn't even tell you how much it costs to become a member until you give them your email address. Access costs $15 for 30 days, free until cancelled, but for those who don't read the fine print, there's another little trick. If you check the box, your access to Mr. Skin becomes "free" and will be renewed after two days at the regular monthly rate. If you're not careful about clicks, you could end up spending about $50 a month to look at naked "donkeys."
Episodic content with boobs and possibly gags
I have to admit that as a total pervert who sticks to the dirtiest corners of the Internet, I'm not very familiar with Vitaly's machinations on YouTube. This site also bans anal and is one of the worst among free video hosting sites, and VitalyUncensored doesn't know where to start.
The user's home screen shows thumbnails of many episodes. There's a prank in which a Russian hitman beheads a topless beauty, and another Russian hitman prank featuring a $100,000 deal and a blonde woman with a very pretty carriage. There are also episodes featuring a villainous Olympian and a parent-trailer, each with their own ripe young ladies and ripe, bulging melons.
A large image at the top of the screen advertises episode 39. The third episode of "Villain Olympics." Vitaly is standing on the edge of the pool, you know. He is surrounded by beautiful women in tops. I sense a real theme on this site. Oddly enough, Vitaly himself is dressed, wowing the crowd of local models with his thick arms.
Watch the sexy fake Olympics.
At the beginning of the video, Vitaly greets the audience and talks about the fans who flew in for these games. He is surrounded by girls in only bikini briefs, who try their best to pretend to be happy that a pair of Scandinavian twins with strong accents have come to play putt-putt golf. The movie has vulgar music from reality TV and is generally overdone.In the game of Pussy Golf, a woman wearing nothing but a pair of shoes squats, strikes a yoga-style pose and stretches to look sexy, while she makes her strokes on the green with minimal effort. The next game, "Boob Pong," is equally thoughtful - Vitaly keeps explaining the rules, everyone applauds, the girls are gorgeous, and you can see their boobs, so I guess that's okay.
The whole movie lasts about 10 minutes. The competition is half-hearted, the game is silly, but everyone seems to loosen up and have more and more fun as time goes on. It must have something to do with the contents of the plastic cups they drink from. It's probably grape juice. They say this juice is social lubricant and a great way to get your panties off.
Now the XXX blackmail begins.
Impressed by the heavily drinking crowd, I couldn't wait to see the shenanigans I had heard so much about. One of them was the "escaped sex slave" prank, which appealed to me because I was trying to pass it off as a prank when I was subjected to it.
The prank began with Vitaly dressed as a park ranger and a blonde standing next to him with her butt sticking out of her cropped shorts and her wrists tied with a rope. She runs up to the stranger and says she always calls the police right away, what else can she do. She insists that she won't call the police, which is a danger signal for everyone, not to mention her pornographic nipples, but she isn't in any pain at all and doesn't look particularly frightened.
It's quite an interesting social experiment. I know everyone is at once skeptical, but what's a man to do when he has a half-naked sexy woman in front of him and she offers him all kinds of sexy stuff. As you can imagine, you can tell everyone is just lingering and thinking, "Let's see what happens next."
Vitaly's candid style has provided him with the kind of financial success that many viral stars hope for, and while it's hard to say exactly who VitalyUncensored was created for, he makes good use of his stardom. His YouTube audience, who are looking for something more salacious and adult, will probably be satisfied with this work. However, as someone who mostly reviews pornography, if you're looking for something that will really get you hammered, this site definitely won't do.
At $15 a month, VitalyUncensored may be worthy of consideration for true fans of its antics. It might be hard to maintain such a membership on a monthly basis, especially given the disappointing comments under recent episodes. If you're not paying that much to see jerks with boobs, you'll probably be disappointed.